Modesty Matters – part three
13 May 2010 1 Comment
in Modesty
Alrighty, here’s the final part to Spencer’s modesty sermon. Hope you’ve enjoyed the series!
In Conclusion….
Consider how dressing to fit into the world could be loving the world. 1 John 2:15, “Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” You could be making your friends or your popularity your idol in some situations. Or you can make dressing a certain way your idol. Conforming to the world’s standard of dress is a form of loving the world.
Many times the problem is that people have a “just gotta be me” attitude. This is not a fitting attitude for Christians. If you are bought with His blood, your job is to represent Christ. What right do you have to “just be” you?
You might be asking, “What can I wear? Am I allowed to express my personality in my dress?” You are allowed a personality, but if it is in rebellion to your parents, it’s not modest. You can love the world through your dress, actions and speech. It’s a matter of your heart, not necessarily a matter of what specific item of clothing you wear.
Here are some mindsets to combat immodesty. An adoption of these mindsets can radically affect not only how we dress, but also how we act and talk. First mindset: We are not our own. 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” We are not our own if we have been baptized into the blood of Jesus Christ. Not any part of us belongs to ourselves. Not just our speech or our conduct; our dress does not belong to us either. What right do we have to say, “I’m just going to be me. I need to rebel in my dress.” What right do you have? You are not your own. What right do you have, ladies, to try to attract the attention of men in an inappropriate way? You are not your own. What right does any Christian have to say, “look at me” with their dress in any given situation? We are not our own.
Second mindset: If it doesn’t edify, don’t wear it. This can apply to actions as well. If it doesn’t edify, don’t do it. Romans 14:19, “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” We can tear down or build up our brothers and sisters, even with our dress. If it doesn’t edify, if it brings glory to yourself, don’t wear it. Dressing this way really shows a self-centered heart. I desire each of us to concern ourselves with the edification of others.
Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” My question, ladies, is: Will you be those things? Will you be pure, honorable, excellent, worthy of praise, or will you be something we men do not need to be dwelling on? Will you be something of good repute, will you properly represent your family, will you be a proper representation of Christ?
Third concept, similar to the first concept, is that the true purpose of our bodies is to glorify God and bring others to Him. We not only dress modestly because we belong to Christ, but because we want to share Christ with others. When we dress properly, others notice the difference in our lives. 1 Corinthians 6:20, “You were bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” We must glorify God in the way we live, including in our dress. When we dress immodestly we are dressing to glorify ourselves. When we dress immodestly, in affect we are saying, “Hey, look at me, look at what I have, look at what I look like, look at who I am.” We’re telling Christ, “This attention I can get from these people, or this status I can get by wearing these things, is so much more important to me than representing you to the world. I’m going to take Your holy temple and bring glory to myself.” This should not be! Remember that your whole purpose in life is to glorify God and be His ambassador to the world. That will help you decide what things are appropriate to wear.
Really concern yourself with what you wear and how it will affect other people when you wear it. Our bodies are not our own, they belong to God. The question I would like to pose is, are you willing to give Christ your all? Really think about that for a second. What does it mean to give Christ your all? Does Christ care about the way you dress? You had better believe it! If it has that much of an affect on guys, you had better believe that God cares about how you dress. If dress is a representation of the condition of your heart, you had better believe that God cares about how you present yourself. But God cares more about you cultivating a modest heart, a heart that doesn’t seek self-glorification. No question, God is concerned with your actions, but He wants to make sure that your heart is right. Our hearts do not need to be self-seeking.
Are we going to continue to cultivate hearts that live immodestly, seeking attention that others in the world will give us, and denying what Christ has to offer? Do you love Christ enough to say, “My heart, my soul, my mind, my body, my all, it’s Yours”? Do you love Christ enough? Will you give Him your all? Please consider these things and how they apply to you. Some might read this thinking, “I really need to show this article to my friend so-and-so. Maybe if I leave it here on the church’s kitchen counter, she will read it.” But please think about how it applies to you. Dressing to boast is a problem with both genders of all ages. Dressing to rebel can be a problem for both young and old. Dressing to seek attention in the physical is also a problem for anybody. Please consider these things. There is more to representing Christ than dressing the part. Many people can dress the part, but not walk the straight and narrow. What does God want us to be in our hearts? Again, it’s not what you wear that is wrong, it’s why you wear it. Are you representing Christ properly with hearts, minds and actions that depict your love for Him?
If you have taken in anything, remember this, “Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.” (1 John 2:15-17).
Adapted from a Sermon by Spencer Newburn
Modesty Matters – part two
04 May 2010 1 Comment
in Modesty, Uncategorized
Modesty and the Christian’s Responsibility
If we’re dressing modestly, our dress will not say, “Look at my position, look at my possessions, or look at my person.” Our dress will not say, “Lust, pride or money.” Our dress will say, “Purity, humility and moderation.” A good working definition of modesty is, “Not dressing in excess and/or immorality.”
We’re going to go now into the Christian’s responsibility. We’ll look at the girl’s part first. Look at 1 Timothy 2:9, “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”
Why shouldn’t a teenage girl dress in skimpy clothing? As one author put it, it’s like “candles among gunpowder.” To most guys, an immodestly dressed girl is just as dangerous to their spiritual walk as fire burning near gunpowder is to their physical lives. There is a temptation for girls to fit in, to dress in trendy styles, and I realize that you may be tempted to say, “This is what my friends wear, and I don’t want to look weird.” I know what peer pressure is like. I know what it’s like to have to say no to something. I also recognize that I’m asking you to do something that does not fit with society’s ideals. But all I know is what the Bible says, and it says that we are holy people, we’re sanctified, set apart, a peculiar people. God cares about the way we dress, and He has commanded us to dress modestly.
I want to deal with this “candles among gunpowder” issue. It could be that you’re not trying to turn heads. You might be like, “I’m not really trying to cause my brothers to stumble, I just wear what I think is cute.” You might be innocent in motive, but it can still be inappropriate. Too many girls are innocently unaware of the affect they can have on their Christian brothers. Look at Romans 14:21, “It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine or to do anything by which your brothers stumble.” My question is: are you concerned with us, your brothers, stumbling? If you are truly concerned with helping us stay focused on God, please, please, please put thought into what you wear!
There are hundreds of guys, myself included, who have made Job’s covenant. Job chapter 31:1 says, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” Could you not make it a little easier on us? Could you not help us with this covenant? Wearing immodest clothing is like wearing bright neon signs around the the very thing we cannot look at. Are you concerned with our edification, or are you concerned with getting attention from us?
I like to use the illustration of David and Bathsheba. David sinned with Bathsheba. When I use the following illustration I am not letting David off the hook. He sinned and he was at fault in God’s eyes. But I would like to pose this question: What in the world was Bathsheba doing bathing on the roof?! Why in the world was she bathing, apparently, where David could view her? There is one of three possibilities. She was either 1) trying to seduce David, 2) innocently unaware that she could have this affect on David or any other man who saw her (naïve/ignorant), or 3) acting within her culture. Whether or not she was consciously trying to seduce David, was innocently unaware, or was going with the flow of her culture, I dare say that if she had put three ounces of thought into this action, things might have turned out differently.* I’m asking that when you get up and stand before your closet in the morning, put three seconds worth of thought into how you might affect your Christian brothers, and things may turn out differently in your life as well as in the lives of your brothers.
Bathsheba apparently didn’t think about it. Candles and gunpowder. It takes time and thought to dress modestly. Thoughtlessness is an explosive danger. If you are consciously putting thought into your wardrobe and are trying to clothe yourselves in a way that is appropriate – on behalf of every Christian man, thank you so much! If you do not consciously consider what is appropriate to wear or are ignorant of the facts, I hope to make you aware of those facts and maybe you can start thinking about it when you get dressed in the morning. If you are consciously trying to seduce those around you by the way you dress, please stop! It doesn’t help anybody and is, in fact, sinful.
Something that is done quite a bit in churches, and I wish it wasn’t, is something that is shoved under the banner of “Christian liberty.” I once visited a youth group in Oklahoma, and we had a great class. They separated the girls and the guys, put us in groups of five and presented a lesson on purity. We got back together afterwards, sang some songs, and then they announced that they were having a beach party the next Saturday. I was like, Okay, you’re having a beach party this weekend right after we had a class on purity? So I asked the teacher after class, “What are they allowed to wear?”
“What?” he asked, slightly confused.
“I mean the girls. Is there some kind of dress code for them?”
“Well, they can wear whatever they want to wear. It’s their Christian liberty. There’s nothing the Bible says about wearing a bikini.”
I was thinking, Yes, that may be their Christian liberty, if you want to push it that far. That may not send them to Hell, but what about protecting their brothers in Christ? Look at 1 Corinthians 8:13, “Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.” Where is that principle when you put on something that draws the eyes of your brothers to your body? It takes great concern for your brothers in Christ to dress modesty. I wish that all would concern themselves with this issue. I wish that everyone would ask themselves these three things when they get up to dress every morning. 1) Are my parents going to be honored by what I wear? 2) How am I representing my family? And 3) How am I representing my God?
I wish that all girls would concern themselves with the edification of guys, with helping them out. It would be appreciated by many guys, including myself. We may not say anything directly to you about the way you dress, but guys do notice when you dress modestly, and we do appreciate it very much.
Moving on to the guy’s responsibility. Many of these principles apply to girls as well, but I think we guys have more of a problem with dressing to rebel and dressing to boast. Now, we do dress to attract, but dressing to rebel and boast is, I think, a bigger issue for us. Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise) so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Consider how dressing in a rebellious way is dishonoring to your parents. Your parents know that how you dress at school represents their family, and you need to honor them in how you dress. If your parents don’t want you wearing something, don’t wear it. If they are not 100% okay with what you put on, don’t wear it. Ask them, “Is what I’m wearing honoring to you?” Don’t say, “I know you don’t totally approve of what I am wearing, but please, please, please let me wear it!” Don’t whine and get them to let you wear it. That might be obedience in some weak form of the word, but that is not honoring. I am not here to dictate your wardrobe, that’s your parents’ job. Are you okay with letting your parents sort through your clothes? Are you willing to tell them that they can go through your closet and take out whatever they want, put it in a bag, and throw it away? Tell them that you don’t even want to know about it, you just want them to take out what they don’t like. If you’re not willing to do that, you’re probably not dressing modestly and in a God-honoring way. Like I said, you may have persuaded your parents to let you wear something, but if they are not 100% okay with it, it is not honoring – don’t wear it!
Another big guy issue that I’m going to talk about in more depth: Dressing to boast. Guys do this a lot. We do need to dress presentably. Whereas one guy might dress immodestly in rebellious clothes, another might dress immodestly by spending too much time and money on his appearance in order to boast. There is some relativity in dress from culture to culture. For example, pants for girls is immodest in most of Ghana, Africa. But how much do we change with culture? How different are we supposed to be? Are we to be so radical that we look like we came out of the middle ages? Where do we stand? There is relativity in our dress, and we need to honor the situation. We need to not boast in our dress. This includes every generation of men [and women]. There is also relativity from congregation to congregation. In some congregations every man wears a suit and tie. Some places have the preacher wear jeans and a T-shirt. We are talking about honoring the situation with our dress, which means showing up at a congregation in what is acceptable. To show up in shorts at a congregation that expects a suit would be rebellion with your dress. That’s like saying, “God doesn’t say I have to wear a suit, they can’t tell me what to wear.” That is the wrong attitude to have. But to show up in a “jeans and T-shirt” congregation wearing a tuxedo? That would also be wrong. It would be boastful about what you can afford. If the situation doesn’t dictate you wear a tuxedo, you could be boasting with your dress when you wear it.
If your motive for wearing something is to draw undue attention to yourself, you are being immodest. “Look at what I have, look at who I am, or look at how good I look,” is immodest. It’s an issue of motive. I hope by now you see that modesty is a heart issue. Your clothing is merely an expression of the state of your heart, whether rebellious and boastful, or humble and submissive.
Adapted from a Sermon by Spencer Newburn
* I just wanted to add one more possibility to Spencer’s observations about Bathsheba. It is possible that she had done everything she could think of to remain modest. Perhaps she had carefully chosen a time when she thought no one would be around, that she had consciously tried to find a place where no one would see her and yet David happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. If this was the case the guilt would be on David, not Bathsheba. You may make every effort to dress modestly but find that some men just don’t care about staying pure in thought and that some men may look at you in inappropriate ways no matter how you are dressed. If you are dressed modestly and are acting discreetly, then the guilt lays at the feet of the man who takes no care to check his thoughts. You are innocent if you have taken care to find clothes that do not suggest evil, but truly proclaim purity. God looks at the heart and judges accordingly. ~Brittany
Modesty Matters – part one
27 Apr 2010 5 Comments
in Modesty
Summer is fast approaching. This is the time of year when days get longer and skirts get shorter. In light of this fact, I thought it would be a good idea to take a fresh look at the subject of modesty. When my brother Spencer was fourteen, he preached a sermon titled Christian Modesty. I listened to the recording recently and turned it into an article to be posted here in three parts. The sermon was directed to both young men and young women, and though my readers are mostly young ladies, I thought you would enjoy reading Spencer’s thoughts for young men as well. I wish I could post the audio version because the sermon is really, really good, but I’ve done my best to get his thoughts across in article format. I hope you enjoy reading one young man’s take on the issue of modesty and a Christian’s responsibility to dress for Christ.
For Him,
Miss Brittany N.
Modesty: An Issue of the Heart
“Culture is religion externalized.” That’s the first statement made in Henry Vantil’s book Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America. Kind of a startling title, isn’t it? It’s an interesting book and I encourage you to get a copy of it. When I first read his statement, I asked myself, What in the world does ‘culture is religion externalized’ mean? What he meant, as he later explained, was that the cultural expressions of a given people – the way they dress, the way they talk and the way they act – reflect, to a degree, their hearts and their spiritual state. Since dress is a part of culture, we can ascertain that dress does, at least in part, reflect a person’s heart.
I’m not writing to discuss an itemized list of what you can and cannot wear. I do not want to say, “This is good to wear, this item is bad, this one is definitely wrong.” I simply want to show you that immodesty is a problem with the heart and must be dealt with as a heart issue. As you read, I would like you to bear in mind a couple of things. First, the Lordship of Christ. Christ is Lord of all. If you’re baptized into the body of Christ, Christ needs to be Lord of every aspect of your life, including the area of dress. This article is not the product of me researching the subject and learning everything I need to know. I’ve still got lots to learn. However, this article is a product of some things I have studied and learned in my life that will, I hope, be of benefit to you.
I want to talk about both guys and girls, because looking into the subject of modesty I discovered that it is both a guy and a girl problem. I want to discuss three things in relation to modesty: 1) The ways in which we dress immodestly, 2) The Christian’s responsibility in regard to modesty, and 3) The way we should deal with the problem of immodesty. The mindsets we will be discussing are from the Bible; mindsets that, when adopted, will produce what some may consider radical results. A battle continually rages between God’s idea of modesty, and man’s desire to control his wardrobe. As Christians we should be sure that we are not rebelling against God’s dress code.
The first thing we need to do is to identify the different ways dress is used in our culture. We’re not going to look at solutions yet, that will come next. For now, let’s just look at the different methods of how dress is used improperly. First, our culture uses dress to attract. When you think of immodesty you probably think of “a primarily female problem” (the mini skirts, the skin tight jeans, the skimpy shirts). While females do often dress immodestly by wearing these things, dressing to attract is also a problem many males have. The purpose of dress for many people is to draw undue attention from the opposite gender – and that can be very distracting and very immodest. Guys do it too, it’s not just a girl problem. That’s what I mean when I say “attract.” We do need to dress presentably, we do need to dress attractively. But there is a difference between dressing attractively and dressing to attract.
Second, dress is used in our culture as a means of marketing. This isn’t too hard to see. It seems every product today can be marketed in an indecent way. It doesn’t take but a short walk through the mall to see that it’s not just the people who are immodest, it’s also the items and the clothing sold there that are indecent. It is marketed that way to draw people in. Not just males, but females as well. It appears that every item today can be advertised in an immodest way. Cologne, cars, toothpaste, food. Football is a big one. I once met a young man who absolutely loves football. He loves the Super Bowl, but he knows that the commercials can be a problem. We all know how awesome they are – the best commercials of the year, right? When watching the Super Bowl, this young man flips to another channel during the commercials because he knows that way too often things are marketed in an immodest way, using skimpily clad women to get attention. Immodest dress is used as a means of marketing.
Third, dress is used as a means of getting attention. This is different from attracting. This is where we get into the idea that you can be fully clothed yet dressed immodestly. Dressing in rebellion is a huge issue, especially with guys. “I just gotta be me! I gotta make a statement, I have to show my unique personality.” I’m not saying you can’t have a personality. But if your personality says, “I’ve got to rebel against my parents,” then you’re dressing immodestly. Dressing to rebel is just as immodest as dressing to draw attention to certain aspects of your body. It’s equally indecent.
Fourth, people in our culture often dress to boast. Someone with much wealth may dress in expensive clothes as if to say, “Look at who I am!” This is also immodest. Dressing to boast is equally as big a problem as dressing for attention and dressing to attract. Not only can you be fully clothed and yet be immodestly boastful, but you can also wear the same set of clothes modestly one way and immodestly another way. For example, when I preach I wear a suit. Most people expect me to wear a suit. When I wake up in the morning I can choose one of two attitudes. I can say, “Yeah, I’m preaching today, got a good sermon ready, everyone will love it, and I will look sharp.” That would be immodest. Or I can get up and said, “I’m preaching today and for this set amount of time I’m representing the local congregation. They expect me to dress presentably, so I’m not going to wear jeans and a T-shirt that says, ‘I’m up, I’m dressed, what more do you want?’” Same suit, two different attitudes. Dressing with modest humility, or dressing to boast. Attitude can make the difference between modesty and immodesty.
Our culture uses immodest dress to attract, to market, to get attention and to boast. We need to be sure that we are not conforming to society but that we are reflecting God’s standards of righteousness in our dress.
Adapted from a Sermon by Spencer Newburn
